So, apparently whenever I shave ( a big one, every couple weeks) or cut my hair Ariel forgets who I am and gets very aggressive towards me. No big deal, I leave her alone for a day except for talking reassuringly to her as often as possible and she is fine towards me the next day. I've even started a little peak a boo game with her that I play after I shave so that she remembers who I am more quickly.

The problem is that Merlin is pair bonded to her (but not vice versa fortunately). He and I normally get along great but on the day she gets weirded out he gets aggressive towards me. He then stays that way for a few days and gets very hostile when I am petting her or giving her attention. This goes on for days even though Ariel is quickly very sweet towards me again.

He is clearly conflicted because he'll fly over to me, puff up, whisper in my ear, give me kisses and then a minute later bite me and look aggressive when I go near Ariel. This then goes away and comes back at the next hair cutting but I'm worried that the bonding might get progressively worse.

Merlin is 4 and going into adolescence. Any suggestions? I don't let them perch or cage together and Ariel does not share Merlin's feelings. If this is all I have to deal with I'm fine with it. I can take a few bites here and there I just don't want Merlin to get any more bonded/defensive of her.

I'd particularly appreciate advice from some of the people here who have seen their macaws through successive developmental stages. I'm still amazed b how distinctively they change as they age.

Well that's easy. Don't shave. We like men with really long beards. Think ZZtop! lol! J

silly reply #2 - shave every day & sport Jim's 'bald' head look - then they'll never get confused.

Sorry I don't have any experience with this issue. Too bad for you that you have this to deal with - when they're perfectly fine in every other way. Could anyone else help out on hair cut days? - to lessen the impact. I bet if you continue to be gentle with Ariel, that Merlin will calm as well.

I'm hoping it will settle down. The first time it was a debacle. I thought she was joking because I taught her what I call the 'Mean Baby' routine. I've got a couple friends who are very scared of the birds so I taught Ariel to get puffed up and hiss. She'll do this as a joke quite often then make kissing noises.

The first time I shaved she puffed up and hissed and I thought she was joking so I ignored it and went to play with her. She bit the ever loving heck out of me and 10 minutes of insanity ensued as she was screaming and flying all over the place as I tried to get her into the cage. During the whole time Merlin was attacking me.

Since then I've learned how to approach/watch/manage the situation with her without anyone getting to flustered. I now hold a shirt over my head until she say 'Peak a boo'. I do this 10 or so times, give her a kiss and show her my hand. If she gets scared I leave her alone for an hour(s) then try again. It seems to work and she's good the next day. Merlin isn't. It takes him upwards of a week to calm down and trust me near her. I can't just cage her for the day I cut my hair/shave because she needs a full day of being in the room with me without me touching her to regain trust in me. If I cage her I just have to start the process the next day.

I guess the real issue is more of how to prevent/reduce aggressive bonding. I know Merlin is bonded to me as well because if Chaco is on my shoulder Merlin flies over, attacks Chaco, then sits on my shoulder whispering and puffing up saying 'good bird' and making kissing noises towards me.

It's so nice to be loved!

Can you stay shaven more often? Or, can your birds sit somewhere close to watch you shave? Some birds just like people with certain attributes.. maybe your bird prefers fuzzy chins

As for aggressiveness, I'd scold the macaw starting trouble (mine responds to a harsh "HEY!" or a "NO!!") and then ignore them (you'd probably have to set your bird down on a safe perch or similar). I know this doesn't work for everyone, but it does for me. Roy gets very angry and usually screams and storms around for a few minutes, but then he calms down. I'll extend a hand to him.. if he puffs his head up, he's too wound. If he offers a foot to step up calmly, we can resume playing. Generally now, if I give a "hay!" he knows he needs to knock it down a notch or he's in the dog house

Any advice would be appreciated. As much as I love her I'll give Ariel back to the aviary before I lose Merlin. He's flying at me if I touch her as we speak. I love the big GW but nowhere near as much as my little Red Front buddy.

The one thing that has worked for me with our buddy system is to get the two to play together with me not showing any favorites. If I am in the room with both and only holding one, I would be in trouble. I sit and skirch them at the same time until they are used to the 3 of us being together. They do fine together on the playgym if I am not within their sight. When I have one on one bonding time, it is in another room away from their buddy.

How do you deal with aggression when one is upset that you are petting the other? I've tried the two at a time but Merlin gets aggressive when I touch Ariel when he is with me.