This story is in Email format because it was written to someone who asked me how Sydney came into my life, and why I chose another grey...Its an honest story with alot of emotion......and it also shows the anger, which is part of the healing process when you grieve for a lost member of your family......so here goes:

The story of Sydney



After loosing Sampson., I was in a deep depression. I hated to come home from work, knowing he wouldnt be there. I cried all the time. I was angry at others who had greys, and I couldnt stand to see posts about how happy and all the good things that was going on. Someone had just ripped my heart from my chest, and I could do nothing about it. Because of our similar stories of always wanting to be a grey parront, I know you can understand.

I searched and searched the internet for breeders, tho I knew it was not the time of year for babies. I called all over, and no one had one. ................

Weeks passed. I sat infront of the computer and cried. Yes, I did have other birds. I had Harley, Ollie, Otis and the tiels. However, Sampson was the only baby I ever had. He was the child that I never had....and I couldnt stand to be reminded of what I lost, so I didnt interact much with them. Just somehow I couldnt. I wasnt able to. I would get physically sick. I think they understood, and George stepped up to the plate and was a good dad in my emotional absence.

One day, cruising the net, I found an add for a grey that was left out of a clutch in upstate ny.....I emailed the person who had it, and told him my story. I did not ask a price, just if the bird was healthy.They commented that that was what stuck them about me...I never asked a price, I just wanted a healthy baby....thats all that mattered.

I then showed George the ad, and cried.

George said we could go "look" if that was really what I wanted. The breeder was located in upstate NY. We printed out directions, it was just about 500 miles, each way.

I immediatley went to the bank to roll all my change. I was so indebt over Sampson, that I depleted my bank accounts and my charge card were all maxed. I took all George's change(he was bartending pt ontop of his other 2 jobs) and rolled them also.

We drove up to meet Sydney, and that is the picture you saw of him sleeping on my lap. IT was Dec 21st. I gave them a deposit of just under $200 because that was all I had to my name.

They were actually going to let me take him then and pay him off, and I could have, but I didnt want to chance the handfeeding part. I had done it in the past, but I was still not together after all had happened.

Sydney was down to two feedings and was eating other foods, so I decided it was ok to go get him. We arranged a date of January 19th. As the date was coming closer, the weather was calling for severe weather, and they were under a blizzard warning. My attitude,however, had started to get better. I started telling the flock, we had a baby on the way. I did all that nervous mom thing getting ready to bring him home.

That Christmas, George also proposed to me.

When the weather wasnt going to co-operate, I started to cry again...George said not to worry, he would get me there and Sydney would be home.

WE started out early in the am to avoid the snow here. We did fine untill we were almost up to the town they were in....it started to snow........

We didnt stay long once we got there. The family kissed Sydney, and Hugged me. I started to cry again, and they assured me, Sydney would be with me a long time. They knew my fears. It was easier not loving anything, because you couldnt get hurt.

George commented to Sydney..."you have some big shoes to fill little one"

About 45 minutes into our journey home, in upstate ny, the snow was the worst I had ever seen. We couldnt see the road, and we were on a road inbetween two fields.

The drifts were higher then my car. It was scarey...but I had my baby on my lap(in a container)...sleeping.....somehow tho, I finally felt secure.... I too fell asleep. I hardly slept in months and was so warn out, its hard to imagine how I actually made it throught the days.



We made it home............and Sydney has been a good little boy that has helped my heart to heal. I was back to semi normal, and started to write about Sampson to help others.

I still miss Sampson. I always will. He was my first born. These guys will never take his place, but they surrounded that hole in my heart, and made it smaller. Sampson left me in the hands of some very good people, and for that I am forever grateful.

Attached Images

Christmas_2002_syd1.JPG (40.8 KB, 7 views)

AWWWWWWWWW! I know what u mean...We can never replace them or the bond we had with them......I tried to do that after Bella died. Someone was "being nice" since I lost her and bought me Jazzy....after than I bought budgies in a way to maybe find one "like her" again...I love all of them A LOT and I hate to admit that is why but it sure seems like that's what I was doing...This will make 2 years february 14th and I am ok now...Happily living with 6 budgies,1 tiel and a fish...with a picture of Bella on my dresser.

Aww I cried the whole way through that story. Sounds like Sydney was meant to be, I am so glad you have him!

Once again, a beautiful story, Lisa.