I work from home and am used to being alone with Louie all day. He would sit on my shoulder or throw sticky note pads back and forth to me from the top of my desk.

Paula, I'm so sorry about Louie. I know you miss him terribly, and its all those little daily memories that reach out and tug at your heart. You're questioning yourself now, and that's natural, but please give yourself a break as well. Try as we may, there's no way we can foresee every eventuality, and short of a necropsy, there's really no way to say with any certainty what happened. In so many ways they are so durable, but yet in others so fragile. When something goes really wrong, they go downhill so quickly. Even with an avian vet nearby, positive outcomes are by no means certain. My situation is similar to yours in that the nearest avian vet is hundreds of miles away, and of course things always seem to happen at night, or on holiday weekends; whenever there is little to no help available. I live in fear of this.

If you have any photos and memories of Louie, we'd love for you to start a thread about him in the Never Forgotten forum. Wishing you peace.

Dear Paula, I have not posted as it was clear from the beginning that your bird was very ill and there was nothing I could constructively suggest short of getting him to the vet. But in truth, it was probably already too late by the time you posted. And this is how it is with birds, they instinctively mask their illness, until it is almost always too late. By the time we can see they are sick, they are so obviously out of control, the energy is not there to pretend anymore.

I have lost several birds, and each one was a wretched loss. Each one I cried over, for many hours, over many days and even months; for each one I went through a mourning period. They are truly our family members, and only bird people really understand this. From each one, I learned to be a better bird caregiver, a better person. It's good to go over what you could have maybe done better, not to beat yourself up, but to learn for next time. If you ever adopt another bird, find yourself a vet as close to you as possible and bring your healthy bird for a check up. Establish a relationship, one in which you may call your vet in case anything happens in the future. Many vets are very caring people and will make themselves available for an emergency such a you experienced. But know that it's possible you could never have prevented what happened. Life is like that, the illness strikes, and our loved one is suddenly gone. My heart goes out to you, and like most people here, I understand. My deepest condolences for your loss.

Thanks Nate for this recommendation. It would be really nice, Paula when you are ready.

Hi Paula,

I just saw this thread today, I am so sorry for your loss... i have lost both feathered and four legged friends and it is a very tough thing to go through. We are all here for you if you need anything.... Just try and remember all of the happy moments that you two shared together!

Thank you Kate for your message. Everyone on this board is helping me through this and I'll never forget it.

Paula, I am so so sorry for your loss. Louie will always be with you though, you have the memories which no one can take away from you.

(((hugs)))

Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. I notice your bird list. Are those all of your birds? You must be busy! Thank you again.

Loss is so hard to deal with. I lost a pet a year ago & it took that long before I could laugh about our many great times together.

One of the cruelest things you can do & I see it has already come up - is telling yourself you should have done something better. Of course we want to learn from any experience like this. From what I read I can't see that you were a bad parront in any way.

I think having detox around might be something we all should have - I don't. Perhaps we all need to have a well stocked medical kit along with lots of information. But in the end the Vet is the best answer.

My heart goes out to you & your family. I wish I could send you a hug.

I'm so sorry, Paula.

Kind thoughts your way...