Can you imagine me not posting anymore. Can you imagine Peggy gone????
One day she will be gone. She is dying. She has a death sentence. I live with it, I know it. Do you all know it??

Have you seen the mucus from the beak, it is sticky, it drools down, the bird hunches, it has no feathers, it is RED hot to the touch. You love it, but you know time has come. You have to make the decision. Do you continue on with antibiotics, do you prolong for another few meagre weeks or do you opt for euthanazia.

Peggy is hot to the touch now. Each day I go up to her, cuddle her and check her temperature. I think, oh man, you are hot today Peg's. Then I think, ok, nope not hotter than yesterday.
You are not hunched up, you are talking, you are eating, you are active.
Each morning I go to her cage and check she is up on her perch and not lying dead on the bottom of her cage.

Pi is not at the stage Peggy is. I don't have to do the daily checks yet.

Man, this PBFD. I pray you don't have it over there, wherever you are, but take it from me, one day, you too will be facing what I face. Take PBFD seriously.
Manau PBFD PBFD Support Forum - Index

We are there when all is gone.

I hand fed Manau, I nursed her, then she died.
I nursed Peggy, I kept her warm and then...........she died. (I know it, you know it.)

1st pic....one sick PBFD bird. this is the morning she died.
2nd pic....beak deviation. I hand fed her to keep her alive.
3rd pic....me with the top on that parrotluver sent, with Manau. See a bird I loved just like all of you love your birds. Cept my bird died.

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Starting my morning in tears...that first pic is breaking me heart. Thank you for all you do.

It takes a special person to so lovingly care, you are an angel to do what you do.

I worry about you - I know you do this amazing work but I wonder at the emotional cost to you. I bet you couldn't turn away now.

I hope Peggy is OK but we both know she is on borrowed time. I think of all the good times you have given that poor bird & Manau too. You have really opened my eyes.

I wish I could send you some strength. I think you will have to work on a less emotional connection to them staying - hard to be clear about what I want to say. Your role is to make their going as dignified and as cared for as possible & you are doing just that. Most of us cling to what we have & suffer because we can't hold on forever.

Please keep coming back to us.

Wow, I honestly dont know what to say other than you must be a strong person. My world would be tearing down if any of my babies were to die. The day one does, holy hell, that will be the day I break down and there wont be nothing stoping me from being at my lowest. I will need some major support from ones who are around me. That is one bad thing about me having so many animals. I become so incrediably attatched that it makes me think why do I have so many? I know they will pass oneday, and I know the pain of a loss, but for some reason, I want more, in part because I love to spoil them silly, but another reason is cause I know I can take care of them very well. (in my opinon, I can take care of them better than anyone else.) I just think to have an animal that you know has little time, you must be stronger than me. I try to get animals that have a long lifespan, so I guess to avoid the thaught of death and to have one that doesnt have long, I couldnt cope with it. Your just a good person to be able to do it. ~Jenna

It is the great tragedy of our times that we try to avoid death & even pretend it won't happen. Then when it does we fall apart from the shock. While we age we fight it & think its ugly. Illness is the same.

Maybe because I am older I feel the inevitably of it all. I do know from personal experience that you can drag yourself into a very bad place thru loss - both physically & mentally. I am under no illusions that any prep may not be enough but I am reading & meditating on death & loss. There are some excellent people on this board who have given me support during a crisis & have opened my eyes to what they have to live with every day.

You have to reach out to others when you are in this kind of situation - it would be very bad to be all alone. It is very detrimental to allow your mind to go over & over the feelings of loss & sadness. What Sue does is very tricky when she is overcome with loss. We should help her with this if we can. We celebrate Peggy & Pierre. They are still here & deserve Sue's attention.

We've had discussions about making sure your pets have another home ready for them or to know when to find one - like the lady with the 2 Toos that Jeanne posted about recently, who is dying.

I know my attempts are clumsy but I mean well & I acknowledge your honesty too. We all have to open our eyes to what is happening and try to respond properly.

Personally, I would never choose euthanasia. I try to never give up hope when a bird is sick or contracts a disease but then again you are experienced dealing with this particular disease, I am not.

Couple questions if you don't mind, as I have not followed your cases etc....

I see you "hand-feed" but what exactly does that mean in dealing with these bird's with PBFD? Are you crop feeding and crop medicating or are you syringe feeding, etc.? Do these bird's have strong feeding responses when you are hand-feeding them?

What are the meds and doses you are currently giving this/these poor bird(s)? What name brand or type of fornula are you using? What ambient temps. are they kept in? Do they receive daily natural direct sunshine, not thru window glass? Are they capable of flight and if so do they fly?

Thanks for your time, I was just curious as to what exactly you are doing to help them attempt to live/cope with this terrible disease.

If you have already addressed these questions elsewhere in one thread or two, would you please direct me to that place with a link. I don't want to take your time by asking you to address these questions a second or third time etc.....

Thanks.

Such hard pictures to look at. What a wonderful thing you are doing to keep them pain free and loved.

Sue, I know its so difficult. But yes, I can imagine Peggy gone. I have no choice, same as you. That needn't and shouldn't be the end of your posting though. I suppose all living things are under a death sentence, death is a part of life. Please, I don't mean to sound trite with that, but it is true. I've talked to terminally ill people about how their disease has, in a sense, set them free. When you think of Peggy, remember that her passing will set her free. She will have release from her pain, and she will once again be free from disease and be clothed in a lovely, pristine set of feathers. When she passes, we will mourn with you. We will mourn for your loss, because you will feel like that special someone you shared your life with is now lost to you. But remember, Peggy will never be lost to you. You won't be able to see her anymore, but she will be with you, and you can still talk to her. I will mourn her loss for you, but I will try not to mourn for her. She will have earned her freedom many times over, and we should not begrudge her that. Because of you, Peggy will never be lost to us either, and we thank you for that.