Morning all. OK I am hoping you can help me out. I am becoming a NERVOUS wreck about our baby grey not accepting all the memebrs of my immediate family. I know it sounds silly, but I want him/her to be a happy memebr of our family. I read stories of some birds only liking one person and the other family members are bitten and screamed at. Such is the case with my girlfriends grey as well. He wont let ANYONE but her near him. I dont think that is healthy for the bird as it makes for a stressful life for evwryone involved. I will be adopting my new baby at around 4 months old. Will he/she miss the breeders home and sibling as well as being scared? What if I do all the right things and he is still nasty to someone? Argh, I am going to drive myself nuts! (Where's my paper bag? LOL) Thanks for bearing with me!

Awww Danielle, you sound just like me! I stress out all the time about Lilly comming home and settleing in. Don't worry to much your going to be a great birdy mum. I don't know about Greys, but my ringies spend more time with me so and I am the giver of food too lmao, so I can safely say that I am their 'main' person. I guess it all comes down to how much you socialise her and how much time she spends with your family. Lol my birds are good judges of character and are 'nasty' to some people that they simply don't like. they will step up for just about anyone though, how long they stay there is another matter.
Someone with Greys should be along soon to help you out.
I am sure you and your babe will be fine

Okay, Danielle, take a long deep breath and slowly leave it out! Yes, you are stressing to much - calm down before you bring your baby home. You don't want him to feel your nervousness as you can pass this onto him. Socialization is the key word here. Having friends and family hold your new baby is a good idea but make sure you first show them the proper way to hold him so he feels secure in their hands. Always a good idea to have them sitting down when holding him. Also, do not allow him to be passed around from person to person as this will cause undue stress. I think Greys get a bad rap as to not being very social. I have friends whose Greys go to everyone and are extremely social and then there are those who just prefer one person. They are very intelligent beings and they know who they can trust and want to be with. Unfortunately, you cannot predict what your baby will be like. Just love him for who he is!

Well, I think you should view it a little differently and be happy IF he accepts everyone. All parrots can be partial to just one person or gender ...especially over time. And all parrots can be "nasty" to everyone at times. They're an undomesticated species, a wild animal, so you have to get to know their ways, body language, moods, and needs. Look at how many dogs are misunderstood by humans and they've been domesticated for centuries.

But they are all individuals and only time will tell. It depends on the bird and it depends on the house and the people in it. Just follow all the socialization techniques you can, allow him to be a BIRD (versus thinking he's your mate) and get a good night's quiet sleep and good diet. Following a strict natural daylight schedule including dusk and dawn all year long is one way to guarantee you'll see the best and healthiest bird he can be - mood wise in addition to other factors.

Are you buying him from a breeder who's close by and making trips to get to know him? That should decrease his fears of going with you but yes, I do feel they miss their first family and it's to be expected. It also depends on his breeder and how much independence he's had and exposure to new and different people and things. Some adjust great and others need some time but the survival instinct prevails so they all come around eventually. Alot of people report really good adjustments from day one so I'd hope he'd be the same.

Aww Danielle, it's ok! I wouldn't stress over it too much.

Echo is my bird; I am his main caretaker- feeding him, playing with him, etc... Now, that being said he lets me do things (like giving him scritches) that other family members cannot do. But, he'll let anyone hold him (even strangers) because when he was younger, he was well socialized.

When you get your baby, I would let everyone in your family help with taking care of him. Let one person feed him one day, then another person later, as he will associate that everyone gives food and everyone is part of his flock. Greys seem to be known for bonding onto one perso; I cannot say this is or isn't true, but it more depends on how they are/were socialized when they were young and how they are socialized now.

All in all, I wouldn't stress over it too much! Enjoy your baby!

Good advice from all! I think Cindy is really on point with her post, and you have to accept the likelihood that any parrot is going to select a favorite person, (Greys perhaps somewhat more than some others) and you have to work with that. Socialization is key, and remember that it is a two-way street! If other members of the family are not committed to making it work, it won't. They have to want to handle her too, and keep working with her. Cindy also mentioned allowing her to be a bird, and not come to think of you as her mate, and that's another really good point. Snuggling with the baby is fun, but we need to keep in mind that these aren't puppies! They are going to mature as birds, and their outlook on life is somewhat different from ours. What we perceive as affectionate, cute, snuggly, cuddly, etc, can be perceived by them as mating behavior. Unfortunately we don't make very good mates for parrots for one thing, and it also causes them to become very possessive of us.

Let them be true to their nature, while socializing them as much as possible. Try not to "coddle" them to the point where they overbond. Others may disagree with that, but IMO it is the root cause of many behavior problems. We can spend time with them and be friends without causing them to think of us as a mate.

Nate, thanks and I totally agree with you on the coddling point. Just like with dogs you want the MOST confidence, same with kids, both knowing their place in their society and maximizing their abilities not being super dependent on others for everything. At least IMO.

I've confirmed this to my satisfaction especially from people who have outdoor free fliers and other "professional" trick birds i.e. a guy who has performance birds who fly through fire hoops on stage. (ok, not that I'm for using animals as entertainment, since I'm an activist lol)...I respect his knowledge and lifetime achievements in understanding and motivating birds.

He insists you need to teach them confidence and bird behaviors right away. To forage and explore YOUNG for food and other "enrichment". And you need to USE food as a motivator to encourage independence. His birds are 1000% recall trained but he would NEVER in a million years provide free choice abundance of junk all day long and be encouraging them to "cuddle". Some controversy exists over his and others' methodology since a basis is performance for food...but I'm ok with that to a certain degree. Just like if you live outside you need to find your food and safe place to sleep.

Another interesting thing is the free flight birds that I know of (actual accomplished ones, not fliers in training)...do NOT present these hormonal behaviors like all the birds you read about on family type lists. I have a working theory that their body fat is so low and they are so muscular and athletic that they don't go into breeding mode....but it's only an unscientific theory. Either the people are full of crap (LOL) or it's the athletics. Because they say they dont follow a strict natural daylight schedule which is the only way I've know in the past to prevent off season hormones.

Three cheers for birds being birds and not pseudo-dogs

Sorry to sidetrack for a moment:
That's an interesting theory Cindy and one that has got my brain ticking. I am worrying about when Lilly gets to be old enough to feel those hormonal surges and thinking about the best way to deal with them if/when they happen. By free flight you mean outdoor and not on leash or anything right? Or do you mean unclipped and can fly? Would you be able to go further into ways to prevent off season hormones? Anything you could suggest or reccomend would be a huge help

Thanks for the advice all. It's just seeing the way my friends grey is with her hubby and kids is heartbreaking. I know there is no guarantee, but I would like to do what I need to in order to have a happy feathered member of the family! I'll take a deep breathe, take your advice and keep you all posted!
Thanks so much, you guys are wonderful!
PS 9 weeks old today!