It took me a while to share this story, since it got me very upset, happy, sad, cheerful and confused... I'd like to ask you not to judge my actions even if you disagree - I love my birds, and I'd do things differently if there wasn't an ocean seperating Stupsi from me (in fact, I'd just take him home)... but this is how things are, and there is only so much I can do... I trust the members of PC to read a story, provide some input and abstain from flaming me.

Here's Stupsi's Story:
Stupsi came to our life about 13yrs ago... the little guy turned up one day at my uncle's ranch chased and pecked by the chickens. My uncle used a leather glove to grab him and handed him to my dad with the words "keep him until we find out whose it is".
We named him "Max-zwack" (good german name ) but he didn't like it and told us that his name was Stupsi (also a good german bird name). So, Stupsi it was... he was talkative ever since he came home, and he still chatters up a storm.
Ever since we got him, he hated hands... so there was no bird handling and no play time. And to be honest, we didn't know better - so we just adapted, and the bird could choose where he wanted to go and where not.
At the beginning he would come out of his cage and sit on our legs or bellys (that's about as high as it got), and enjoy being out of his cage.
A few years later, we got a second tiel... they lived in the same cage, and Stupsi sure dominated our gorgeous "Maedi". She didn't get hurt or anything, but he didn't allow her any rights either. Sadly, we lost her after about 2 years due to a cold (I don't think I've ever seen my Dad sooo sad - he went home from work every hour so he could warm her up with an IR lamb, and he cried like a baby when she died in his arms).
Ever since, Stupsi has been alone... he has his mirror (an Austrian thing I guess) and he talks to it constantly. He hates hands, and me.... (he hisses at me at any chance he gets)

I had a goal when we went home for christmas - ready to go, filled with fairly newly aquired knowledge I was determined to do something... I don't know what I thought of in specific, but I thought I'd do something (can you tell that the frustration part is kicking in?!)...
And I did something - I fought more with my dad than ever in my life (okay, ever since I turned 20)... not a day went by that we didn't get into some sort of discussion about the tiel... am I upset with my dad? Absolutely. Is there anything I can do? Nope... my dad's retired, he lives with his GF but Stupsi is at his apartment... granted, my dad comes home every day, and he talks a bit to him, and sometimes lets him out of the cage (Stupsi's not a big flyer)... but he could do so much more....
Anyways... BF and I set out to buy food for the little bugger (who's very handsome btw)... after a day worth of running around, we found a seed mix with fruit and veggies in it (no pellets in sight), some millet spray and we bought all kinds of fresh stuff... since my dad has cats too, Stupsi's cage is high up in the room.... I almost suffered a neck injury from those hours we spent standing on a chair talking to him.... we just talked, and he listed... and he liked it - after 2 days of talking, he didn't hiss at me anymore when I entered the room.... after 4 days he allowed us to feed him millet using our hands... and we tried apple (he loved that), carrot, banana, some salad (he ate it, but he could do without that)... he ate everything... (if I compare that to mr.picky valo i could get frustrated).... after a week and a half, he set out to a flight while being out... we let him out every day... he landed on the couch, and stepped up like a pro when i offered my finger to bring him back to his cage.... (he's sooo soft)... 2 weeks worth of work, the little guy almost ate out of our hands, and sat on my finger... I soo would like to bring him to my house because i'm sure he'd progress incredibly fast...
One day I realized that Stupsi has naket wing-pits and some naket spots on his wings... I assume he's plucking, and we actually watched him pull feathers one time... I talked to my dad about it, offered to take him to the vet to have him checked if he covered the bill - he didn't think it was necessary... don't get me wrong, I'd pay for it in a heartbeat if I had the money... but a flight to Austria plus the expenses there ate up my student stipend already... after a heated discussion, I left the house to cool down... i did call an avian vet in the area, but i didn't have the chance to actually take him (partially, because of the bad weather there - I was ready to drop the money for the costs)... however, i will take him to the vet in the summer when i go home the next time...
without going into too much detail, i'll only mention that we had a very similar discussion about a new cage... BF and i ended up scrubbing his current cage to clean it up...

Overall - I love my dad, and I cannot twist my brains around his way of thinking, and I told him that Studsi will be living with me when I'm back in Austria... but I loved spending time with that little guy since it was one of the most rewarding experiences in my life!

Attached Images

	Stupsi.jpg (83.5 KB, 5 views)
	Stupsi_sm.jpg (61.6 KB, 4 views)

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~Bee~

I think you did good Bee! There is only so much you can do in short visit home. Sounds like if your Dad just would work with him he would come around very quickly. I wish your Dad would just bring him to his GF's house! Poor guy, he's probably so lonely. But he sure is a cutie!

Bee- you will get no judging from me. I think its wonderful that now you know you can do things better for him, and that you're trying. That is all you can do! Stupsi is a handsome little guy!

I've told the story before of my tiel Dakota who I got right around my 11th birthday. I knew NOTHING about properly caring for a bird. I made so many mistakes- I'm just glad Dakota is still around today!

I think you did a wonderful thing! We are all so lucky to have each other just a keyboard away, who knows that Jerry's life would be like without these boards - I didn't know ANYTHING at first! And there's not much you can do about your stubborn father except try and educate him. I don't hold any judgment against you at all, knowing what you know now and doing what you did in such a short time, I think you've already made a huge improvement to Stupsi's life.

i tried that - wonder if he actually read the book that i got him for christmas....

It's always hard trying to tell a parent we know a better way of doing something than they do (no matter what it's about). I think you did what you could and we all continue learning new things and better ways to do old things. I'm still amazed at all the new things I learn on a reg. basis on how to care for my fids since joining these boards. I don't know you very well, but from all your posts I've read - I know you care deeply for your birds and try to do your best for them, just like the rest of us. You tried and I'm sure you'll continue to try when you can to improve Stupsi's life and I think you're wonderful for trying! (I hope all that made sense! It's been a long couple of days and my brain is starting to feel slower than the rest of me! LOL)

Good for you, Bee, for trying to make a difference in Stupsi's life (love the name). Stupsi is one gorgeous litte guy! Hope things work out to your satisfaction.

Please don't beat yourself up! There is no crime in having been young and not knowing more years ago. You made progress with Stupsi this visit, and even though his life could be enriched, he is SO much better off than a lot of the birds that we have all seen and heard about. He is safe, warm and loved (even if not the way you would love him if he lived with you)

Your dad, what can we do with dads -- just gotta love them, too. I'm pushing 50 and Dad just turned 85, and on a bad day we still get into it like I was a teenager. Must admit he has gotten a little smarter as I have aged, but there are so many things that we will never agree about (and yes, he would drop dead on the spot if he knew what I spend on all my critters).

Your birds (and people), on both sides of "the pond" are lucky to have you in their lives!

thanks you all for your understanding and kind words... i'd give a large-size universe to get the little guy over here ... but i don't really have a chance... for now, all i can do is kick my dad a little

however, considering all the stuff that the little guy has been through, he's wonderfully surprising... i was amazed by how quickly his trust improved and how cute he was.... worth telling the story i guess...

You did good and all things considered the little fellow has it better than many.
He looks soooo much like my Freckles that I lost a couple of years ago and it still hurts like all hell just to think of him.

You did good, you really did.
Hugs & Bussi